WA6 First Draft

"Don't even think about anything tricky Jerry!", screamed Jamal.

I didn't like this situation. Two hitmen, carrying out a hit on Jerry Farland. This hit would go down in history. Jerry Farland, the biggest drug lord in east L.A. He had at least half the city under is fingertips, waiting for his command.

"Time to go Jerry...You can stay alive and come with us, or be brought back in the trunk of my camero.", I said to Jerry.

This was my first hit and it had to be on the biggest drug lord in East L.A. Jamal was experienced, with plenty of talent. It was dark, streetlights lighting up the dark alleys of 54th Street. I was nervous. Jerry Farland always had someone watching over him.

"Ahh well if it isn't my favorite hitman, Jamal Williams. Who's your friend?"

"Shut up Jerry...Its time to go."

"After all these years of making hits for me, the tables have turned."

"Do you speak english motherfu****!? I said...shut....up."

My senses were all on high. I could hear a stray dog bark five blocks down. It was quiet...to quiet. I heard a car engine rumbling at the end of the alley. A cop busted out of the car.

"Freeze!"

I lowered my gun, pointed towards the ground.

"What the hell is going on here?" said the cop.

Jamal turned around, slowly dropping his firearm. We turned around simeotaneously. There was a fat, sweaty L.A. cop standing with his gun pointed at us both. We heard running footsteps behind us. Jerry had gotten away. We were both dead now. If we were in prison, Jerry would find us. If we left the country, Jerry would find us. There was no where we could hide. We were deadmen.

WA5 Final Draft

1. I slowly awoke to the sound of an organ playing and they quiet chatter of a crowd of people. I chose to live here because churches are supposed to be the quietest places around. Heck, I'm supposed to be the quietest animal around. After living here for three months I was not about to let some hooligans ruin my much-needed sleep.

I stepped out of my hole in the wall to be welcomed by bright sunshine, flowing through the stained glass windows of Mary and Baby Jesus. I was never a big believer of the Christian faith. But now that I live in a church, I have been exposed to more Christianity then ever before. I am very sorry; I have a problem with rambling away from certain subjects.

I came out and saw my neighbor, John, standing there. He was looking around with a stupefied expression on his face. I turn to see the most beautiful thing that has ever touched my heart. All this time, I was acting like a grumpy hermit with a nasty temper. Little did I know that there was a wedding currently in progress. The entire church was decorated in the most beautiful flowers my eyes have ever seen.

I slowly scampered behind the last row of pews because no one was sitting in them. I peaked my head around the corner to see what the progress of the wedding was. The door opened slowly behind me making a sustained creak. I quickly crawled under the pew, avoiding detection. There was an elderly man walking with a beautiful woman in a white dress. The man was wearing a black tuxedo with a flower. She wore a white, transparent cloth over her face, so i could barely see her face. The organ began playing a delightful song when they walked down the carpeted aisle towards the altar where many men and women were standing. One man was holding a book in his hand, probably the bible. The man and woman slowly made it to the altar, where the man slowly sat down in the front row of pews. I peaked around the edge of the pew, seeing the woman holding hands with another man in the center of the altar. Above them was the statue of Jesus Christ on the Cross, where he died for the humans sins. It is truly an amazing story of that Jesus Christ. All the miracles he performed, if they are true. There I go again, just rambling on.

Anyway, the man and woman said two words each, and then kissed. Everyone was clapping while some were even crying. The man and woman walked down the aisle and out the door into a limousine

After everyone cleared out of the church, I scampered back to my room and tried to fall back asleep. Most wedding stories are not usually told from my perspective. Slowly I fell into a deep, soothing sleep.

2. This was my big day. The one moment in my life where I get to decide who I spend the rest of my life with. My wedding was going to be perfect. This was the church my parents had been married in 25 years ago. Nothing could ruin my perfect day.

I was waiting outside the door of the aisle that led to the altar. At the same time, I was nervous because how do I know if I am making the right decision. No. No turning back now. This was my day, and I was not about to ruin it.

Soon the organ started playing and all the chatter quieted down. My father opened up the door and we both walked into the aisle, arms linked. No one could see my face completely because I had a veil covering my face. I was slowly walking down the aisle when a grey blur caught the corner of my eye. A mouse! Oh no please don't reveal yourself little mouse. You will ruin my perfect day. All I could think about when walking down the aisle was that little mouse. If anyone saw it, my day would be ruined. We finally reached the altar where my dad sat down next to my mother, and I stood next to my fiancé.

Behind me were my best friends from school and previous years. Besides the mouse being on my mind, I wondered why my bridesmaid dresses where so ugly. Behind my fiancé was his best friend Paul, from college. As I was wandering away in my head, the thought of that little mouse floated in the back of my head. Please do not come out little, grey mouse. Finally, we got to the "I do's". Two words that were going to eternally bond my fiancé and I. I slowly opened my mouth and said the two magnificent words. "I do."

WA5 Second Draft

This was my big day. The one moment in my life where I get to decide who I spend the rest of my life with. My wedding was going to be perfect. This was the church my parents had been married in 25 years ago. Nothing could ruin my perfect day.

I was waiting outside the door of the aisle that led to the altar. At the same time, I was nervous because how do I know if I am making the right decision. No. No turning back now. This was my day, and I was not about to ruin it.

Soon the organ started playing and all the chatter quieted down. My father opened up the door and we both walked into the aisle, arms linked. No one could see my face completely because I had a veil covering my face. I was slowly walking down the aisle when a grey blur caught the corner of my eye. A mouse! Oh no please don't reveal yourself little mouse. You will ruin my perfect day. All I could think about when walking down the aisle was that little mouse. If anyone saw it, my day would be ruined. We finally reached the altar where my dad sat down next to my mother, and I stood next to my fiance.

Behind me where my best friends from school and previous years. Besides the mouse being on my mind, I wondered why my bridesmaids dresses where so ugly. Behind my fiance was his best friend Paul, from college. As I was wandering away in my head, the thought of that little mouse floated in the back of my head. Please do not come out little, grey mouse. Finally, we got to the "I do's". Two words that were going to eternally bond me and my fiance. I slowly opened my mouth and said the two magnificent words. "I do."

We kissed and made our way down the aisle, out the door and into the limousine. Everyone stood up and clapped, some even cried. (My mom) Finally, the day i had been waiting for since last year, was complete.

That little mouse must have heard my plea's. Thank you little mouse for not ruining my perfect day.

Once the party was over and me and my husband danced, we headed for the airport where we would spend a lovely honeymoon in Greece. I wonder what happened to that little mouse?

WA2 Final Draft: You aren't supposed to understand...

Drexel was always ready for a challenge. Chief had trained him that way since he found him on the streets. He carried him from the crib out on the curb outside his apartment 17 years ago. The snow was gently falling from the sky like dust from a ceiling fan. He slowly bent over to look inside to see a small sleeping baby with brown hair and a small yellow blanket covering his body. Chief's job wasn't, a normal cubical, computer and coffee job. He was an alien bounty hunter for the ABHA. (Alien Bounty Hunter Association) Now Drexel had taken his position, ever since chief had disappeared in the quantum space void. Drexel was unable to find peace in his life or his job. The only thing that was a comfort was Etaf. The one thing that brought his job a good feeling. Etaf was a shimmer of light in his room of darkness. Etaf was from the void. He was a Follanian. Follanians are a somewhat human species with the ability to control little particles to move things or do things that are we as humans are unable to do. Drexel and him had been inseparable since they met.
Drexel stood motionless in the damp and dusky apartment. The floor was wet with only god knows what. Drexel had seen some weird things during his lifetime. This one was a knew type of fiend that he was assigned to dispatch of. The growls of the two monsters could be heard from inside the next room. They were Zoltar Gargantuans. Beasts from the Gablo Nebula who feast on anything that walks. If they are not in the same pack, they will sometimes devour each other fora meal.
They were unaware of Drexel's presence. He looked around without moving, slowly reaching for his reno. Suddenly, He heard a creak from the kitchen. He was being hunted. The hunter being hunted. They were smart but he wasn't ready to give up. He pulled the reno from its holder. Slowly pointed it at the door, when SLAM! One of the creatures had slammed through the wall, leaving a massive opening in the barrier. The creature leaped with immense force at Drexel. He shot the reno twice, hitting the beast in the chest and forehead. it fell to the ground, with an ear shuddering scream. In a split second the beast in the kitchen was hurdling through the air, snarling at Drexel. He quickly ducked, and rolled forward. The beast flew into the wall and broke through. As he quickly got up he could hear the monster rolling around, making its way off the ground. Drexel was no idiot. He knew what his job involved. He knew the circumstances. This monster was as good as dead. He aimed his reno towards the hole when the beast jumped out and lunged towards him. Drexel jumped it and quickly activated his electron sword, quickly slicing the fiend's front leg off. He hit the beast on his way to the other side, leaving a gash in his arm. He quickly turned around to see a Zoltar Gargantuan rolling on the floor, screaming in pain. He walked over to the beast, reno in hand.
Back at the apartment, Drexel logged on to his network's database to collect his fee. The Gargantuan couple was taken care of and the Tolhanian's living in that neighborhood were happy. Etaf was not here for some reason. Etaf had no experience with Gargantuans so Drexel told him to take another mission. WOOSSHH! Etaf returned. Drexel was eager to find out what mission he had decided to take. Through the door walked Etaf, with blood and gashes covering his body. He fell to the ground. Drexel ran to his side and picked him up. While carrying him over to the bed he noticed his right hand had a "C" with a cross through it carved into his palm. The crusaders had done this to him. Quickly changing his train of thought, he tended to his woulds.
"Drexel...", Etaf softly spoke.
"What happened?", Drexel said gently.
"Ambushed...Crusaders...Gargantuans...Decoy...", Etaf whispered.
Three hours later, Drexel was slowly examining the wounds of Etaf. Etaf's chest, arm's and face were where the major wounds covered. He noticed the deeper wounds. They were very thin but buried deep within the skin. He noticed them and thought of ice crevices. Burying deep within the earth. The texture of his skin was rough around the wounds, as if the cuts were affecting his skin around the wounds.
Drexel quietly thought to himself about the situation. Looks like the crusaders palace in the northern ice caps of Thal would have to be visited to find out the meaning of this madness. Etaf would have to stay back, considering his condition. Thorou, an old friend of Chief, would have to come over and watch over Etaf. Drexel was going to stop for nothing until he got to the bottom of all this.

Final Draft

I just got home around 9:30. Mr. Brownrigg had given driven me back to my house after our game. Fluvanna's Junior Varsity team had just destroyed our Junior Varsity Soccer team, which I was a player on. The score was zero to six. I was disappointed because I thought that I did not play well. I came into the house feeling frustrated and humiliated. My grandfather and grandmother, who were visiting from Royal Oak Michigan, were standing in the hallway when I walked in. As i looked into the room next to the kitchen i saw my mom was on the phone at the computer. Everyone, except my mom, was in the kitchen standing around. Dad, Kaitlyn and my dog were standing around. “What’s going on...Why was everyone down here?” My mom was speaking rather loudly as if she were nervous or anxious. I thought, “Oh maybe dinner was almost done”, but I did not smell anything cooking. My grandpa looked at me and asked me how the game went. I told him how it went and my grandma assumed that I played perfectly fine and that I did my best. I finally got the courage to ask what was going on. My dad walked towards me and told me that my other Grandpa, who was currently in Arizona, has a bloated artery. I burst of shock and Goosebumps fled down my spine as I assumed the worst. He told me that everything was fine and that he was in the hospital right now having surgery to deflate the artery. He reassured me saying that there was a very high percentage of the surgery going perfectly fine. I felt better but was still uneasy. It was already late and my grandmother told me to go take a shower and go up to bed. Tomorrow was the last day before Spring Break and there were a lot of parties and movies to be observed at school. I was most excited for my Spanish. Senora Tuggle always did have the best Fiestas. I went to bed but made sure to pray. I knelt by my bed and spoke to god for almost ten minutes. I fell asleep soon after, but I would not be sleeping for long.
At two in the morning, I was awoken by the screams of my mother downstairs. I woke and knew instantly what had happened. I grabbed my pillow and shoved it in my face, rupturing into tears. “How could this happen to me? Why did this happen to me?” These to phrases were slamming back and forth on the inside of my head. I sat in my bed with my face and pillow drenched with my own tears. My grandparents in the next room came into my room and hugged me tight as we all wept. I could still hear my mom as her cries of agony were echoing through our hallways. Then my sister, wondering what is going on, emerges out of her room. She looks into my room, we make eye contact, and she runs back into her room. Her tears are almost as loud as my moms are. After the crying and weeping we all went to bed again, I knew none of us were sleeping, and that each of us were drenching our pillows with our tears.
I woke up in the morning and came downstairs, wishing last night had been a nightmare. It was no nightmare though. I did not even eat breakfast that morning. My sister skipped school that day. However, I would continue on to school, concealing my tears. I got to school and waited almost half the day before going to the bathroom to cry. Then I got to fourth period class. Band was the class that I had all my friends’ in. My best friend Nick Kalinsky, who I had known since fourth grade, played baritone in that class. I saw him and he was sitting next to his girlfriend. I sat next to him because Mr. Tornello let us have the day off. I told him what happened and nick cursed aloud, walking into the corner of the band room. He knows everyone of my family members and he knew my grandpa really well. I was silent for the rest of the day. Even during the fiesta that I was looking forward to. My day ruined because my Grandfather, Robert Marcell, age 67, had died of a heart attack after surgery. I thought the rest of the day. At night, I do not think I slept.
All of my Spring Break would be spent in Iron River Michigan, my passed grandpa’s hometown. Everyone in my family was there, even ones I did not know. The day of the funeral, was heart breaking. I composed my own version of Amazing Grace for trumpet and played it at his funeral. I did not miss a note, and I did not mess up anything. It was almost as if saw him in the crowd, so I did not feel as bad. After all the funeral things were set we traveled back home to Virginia, so I could make the Jefferson Forrest game. Jefferson Forrest was the best JV team in their district. Each of their players was as big as all of our Varsity Players. That game I scored the game winning goal with 4 minutes left to go. We won the game with score ending at two to one. I knew my grandfather would have been proud.
The last time I saw him I was half-asleep from staying up all night at Nick’s birthday party on New Years Eve. Two or Three months later, I spoke to him on the phone and was able to tell him I made Junior Varsity Soccer at Charlottesville High School as an eight grader. The last thing is said was, “Goodbye Grandpa” and “I love you.”